Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I'm Meredith.

I'm sitting here watching Grey's Anatomy, and it's Season Two.. those horrible episodes after Addison comes back, and Derek leaves Meredith because he's technically married and he tries to make his marriage work.

Okay, so I know that if you don't watch Grey's then that was all just mumbo-jumbo. But these episodes are horrible because Meredith is still in love with Derek, and he just leaves.. to go be with Addison, his wife (who cheated, btw). 
Meredith and Derek try being 'friends'. It's awkward even for me as the viewer. I hate it. Meredith just has to sit there, immobilized, while Derek goes on with his life.. It's like he didn't even let her know he was moving on until it was too late. And there is no way for Meredith to catch up in terms of getting over him because he has the head start..

That's about how I feel.. I'm Meredith.
I'm okay with being without him right now. I'm even okay with being alone for God knows how long.
But for some reason I can't get over that he is so okay while I'm not, at least when I'm not as okay as he is.

It's not fair, and I'm actually angry about it. I know I sound childish and selfish and pathetic, but it's not fair. I should have known to let go. I should have let go when he did.


  1. First, I love Grey's and I am on season 8.
    You are also NOT pathetic.
    Your heart is broken and that is okay.
    I highly doubt the boy is perfectly okay.
    You guys had a long and happy relationship and that will take time to heal.
    All you can do now angel is be good to you, not call yourself pathetic or other.
    You are human and you have the right to be feeling these things.
    I love you so much and I am always here for you <3

  2. Maybe I should start watching Grey's... I want to learn to speak that mumbo jumbo language! You are not pathetic. You're the antithesis of pathetic. Even though I haven't seen the show, I'm sure you'll agree that as far as most TV shows go the Meredith characters (who've lost their loves) end up getting swept off their feet again. Or even better, landing on their own two feet as strong, confident and independent women. Remember, you're strong, smart, capable and confident. You can do anything.