If you read my last post, then you know that I was already having some relationship issues..
I posted last right after Connor and I decided to 'take a break'..
He had walked right past me in the gym without any acknowledgement, and it hurt so bad..
But we made up a couple days later.. He tried to convince me he wasn't good for me, but I convinced him we could make it work..
This time I let him go.
Sunday night I realized that I need to be with someone who wants to be with me, all of me. I want someone who loves me for all that I am, not in spite of who I am..
I do love Connor, and I will always have a place for him in my heart.. But maybe this will be a good thing. Maybe now I will learn even more about myself and grow individually as a person.
Then again, I may always wonder if I will find someone as good to me as my first love..
He was my everything, and most importantly he was my best friend.
It is going to be hard and different now that I'm back to school and back to the reality of being in Starkville without my boyfriend of 2 and half years. It will take some adjustment.
However, I know now that I can't make someone love me X amount.. And I can't be the hand that holds on so tightly while the hand holding mine is letting go..
Now is the time when I find out what I'm really made of.. I don't want to be that girl whose world falls apart because of a break up. I don't want to be the girl who develops ED because her mom relapsed..
I am in control now, and I know I have great things ahead of me.