Wednesday, January 12, 2011

In a boot: 24/7

So right now I'm laying down in my bed watching Worst Cooks in America on Food Network. What am I wearing you may ask? *haha, just kidding.. if you're wondering that, then you're a freak ;)*
I'm wearing this stupid boot. A boot on my right foot. And I have to keep it on 24/7 at least until Monday. The only time I can take it off is when I shower or bike. I even have to sleep in the dang thing!

The good thing is that I had 2 MRI's today (I'll explain in a sec), and the doctor told me that it's just inflammation and a lot of fluid surrounding the calf and achilles, not a tear. This is great news. It means I have a much shorter recovery time, and with proper rest and treatment I should be able to try running on Monday! :) I was hoping to hear that I would be able to run Friday or Saturday, but I'd much rather wait to run on Monday than have a serious injury that prevents me from running indoor or outdoor season.
It's definitely NOT the cutest accessory..
The 2 MRI's story is so dumb. I went in this morning for it, and it was only supposed to take an hour-ish. I got there at 7:45. I have class at 9. Of course I don't leave until 9:55. I have another class at 10, but I decided to skip that considering by the time I get to campus, park my car, and hobble all the way across the drill field it would be 10:30. Pointless. So I go home and have a bit of breakfast. I didn't want to eat today. Probably because of all the stress from running around and being late to everything. I did, anyway. Woot. :P

So then I go to my 12:00 class that I have with Connor. Early U.S. history. It was our discussion section which is only on Wednesdays. Connor freaked out about reading all of the articles earlier this week. I told him not to worry about it. People rarely read them thoroughly. So then we're in our class of about 25 students, and how many have read the documents? 3. Some guy in the front, Connor, and myself. haha. I knew it. And of course I am a know-it-all, so I answer all of the questions he asks.. Sometimes I don't like it cuz I worry about people judging me, but I just hate sitting there knowing an answer and only hearing silence (or even worse, the wrong answer). Ha, I just have to correct them. I blame my dad. He's the same way about always being right and stuff :/

Anyway, I biked right after class. It was only supposed to be a 10 minute warmup, 2x15 x 60 seconds hard and 30 seconds rest b/w reps with 3 minutes between sets, then a 10 minute cooldown. I lost count on the last set, and I'm pretty sure I did closer to 18 reps instead of 15. I kinda knew this, but I wanted to work hard today cuz I knew my team was doing a workout, and I don't want to lose any fitness or get behind :/ I know this is stupid. I'm not gonna lose it in one day. But still.. I also did a 15 minute warmup & 15 minute cooldown.. Overall, it was a good workout. And I DID eat lunch after, even though I was stretched on time cuz I had to GO BACK to the stupid hospital to get another MRI because they didn't scan the correct area the first time. How dumb.

As for eating, I had a Kashi Go Lean Roll bar right before I went to see the doctor back at our training room. I was proud of myself for choosing this bar instead of a FiberOne bar just because the Kashi has 40 more calories. Retarded, huh? But that's how my brain works. :P
I'm glad changes like this are getting easier, though.
Then I came home and really just wanted to pop in a Lean Cuisine. But I also knew that this wasn't enough. So I made dinner. Lemon pepper spiced cod, lightly salted edamame, and a sweet potato WITH butter (a suggestion my nutritionist has been begging me to follow for quite some time now). Did I mention how much I LOVE sweet potatoes? :D And I will admit, that it was pretty good with that dab of Smart Balance butter :)
Yummm :)
Now my stomach is grumbling.. I just did the daily tally, and of course I'm down on cals. DOWN 1000. How does this happen? Because I exercise too much (haha, jk. I love it). But it means I need more calories. And I eat soo healthy. Grr.. I am also too restrictive on myself in the morning :/ I need to work on that.
Anyway, I WOULD eat now, except I'm afraid it will turn into a bingeing episode. This is the reason I haven't been eating very much at all past dinner lately. Last night I had a pb fiber one bar right before bed, but that's just because it's prepackaged. I can deal with that. Something like cereal or yogurt or peanut butter & pretzels-these things aren't already set out for me. It's scary for me to start eating it cuz I don't know if I'll be able to stop. So I just chew gum and drink water to satisfy myself. Stupid, huh?
Sometimes it's just hard for me cuz I don't see how what I'm doing is wrong. I eat three meals a day. I snack. I eat all of the food groups. But it's simply not enough.
Anyway, I just read my blogger friend Liz's post and it makes me want to eat. She just mentioned her talking back to her ED, and it motivates me to nourish my body the way it wants. Yes, it may have gotten all of the meals for the day, but if I keep on at this rate I'm going to lose weight. Something I definitely don't want to do. I can't go back with my recovery. I'm so much happier. I've gotta push through.

I'm sorry this post is boring and kinda depressing :( I guess I just need some motivation.
Anyway, I'm about to go find something to snack on.


  1. I'm sorry about the leg! (And the person who messed up your first MRI!) I hate being immobile. Hopefully if you rest, you'll be back to running soon!

    I find that I restrict more in the morning too. I don't have any good logic for why...if anything this is when we need more fuel to get us through the day. And I definitely understand the prepackaged vs. not dilemma. I hate measuring my own portions.

    Well, take it easy and don't expect too much from yourself. You are doing great and you will push through this. You deserve to be happy!

    Thanks for the comment!
    - Liz =)

  2. i agree with Liz! I restrict more in the morning as well. I think it's mostly because then I feel better eating in the evenings...

    just take it one step at a time. You can do this babe


  3. aawww:/ sorry about your leg. BUT it is wonderful news that you can get back to running on Monday! I stepped on a 16 penny nail earlier in the year and was out for months (b/c it got infected)....

    Sorry to go against the trend here but my fav meal is breakfast and hardest is dinner... I LOVE breakfast and breakfast foods! (which includes some sweet potatoes every once in a while:)

    You can beat this! Like Liz said, you deserve to be happy. <3


  4. I see lots of positives in this post :) You want to keep pushing through recovery, you recognised that the MRI results were better than you thougt and even though you didn't feel like eating you still did! That's great!
    But I'm sorry you have to wear that boot :(

  5. I would pool run versus bike. Pool run with a belt not on underwater treadmill. I've bikes with a bum achilles, but only after I couldn't take the pool anymore, or it wasnt an option. I still felt my achilles on the bike.

  6. ED's can be tricky little things. But I know that you'll be able to find a solution that enables you to get the energy your body needs without this constant fear of binging.

    One thing I've found is that when I consistently eat the right amount of food and the right kinds of foods I lose any and all binge fears. I can slowly trust my body, because I'm giving it what it needs so I don't get any freaky, insane cravings. What I'm saying here is that once you up your calorie intake it's very likely that your fears will fade and things will get better.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  7. Woweeey! I'm gone for five days on vacation and come back to blogland to find you in a boot! oh no! I'm happy you're in for a speedy recovery! I always restrict in the morning too... silly because you'd think having the whole day to burn through your consumption would make eating earlier more worthwhile. You rock that boot girl! One day at a time...